Reaping the Harvest
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I have learned a great deal from my experiences of this pattern, and I am different now because of those experiences. I have not surrendered my point of view, but I am able to see now how it is perhaps not the absolute standard by which all other points of view should be measured. I have learned not to push my truth onto those who are not ready to hear what I have to say. I have learned that humor, appreciation and a willingness to contribute something positive yield far more satisfying results than serious intensity, arrogance and criticism. I have learned humility in recognizing that my creative effort at best adds something of value to a symphony of voices; and at worst, gets lost in noise. I have learned that when it does get lost in noise, this is not a measure of my worth. I have learned to some extent to control the monkey mind that spins out into self-flagellation, paranoia, and/or angry projection. I have learned to listen to others with whom I disagree. I have developed a greater interest in seeking common ground than in fighting for my own turf, and I have learned to walk away from an argument that is going nowhere. I have found peace in living a relatively small life with quiet integrity, and no longer beat myself for what has not happened.
These may scarcely sound like victories to one who has not struggled with my issues. But so it is for each of us. What comes easily to me may make your life hell, and vice versa. In the end, there is no measure of spiritual evolution other than that which belongs to each of us individually. Others may look at my life – or any life – with First Attention and not see much that is remarkable. Indeed, most of us will fade into oblivion shortly after the body falls away.
Yet, every life also tells another story – revealed through an application of Second Attention – that is potentially heroic in its gradual integration of small personal victories over internal patterns that are invisible to most, and of consequence to few beyond the immediate circle in which one lives. It is this story that begs for audience. And it is this story that the appropriate cyclical history can reveal with supportive coaxing from an astrologer – provided the astrologer is willing to let meaning emerge from a birthchart in dialogue with a client, rather than attempt to impose meaning onto it.
This is the last post in this series.
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